I really do believe the word love has been hijacked. Love means so much more to me than how our culture uses the word. Like the 5 love languages. It is my humble, uneducated opinion, but determining someone’s love language to try to save a marriage is like trying to throw a bomb for a touchdown when you are down by 5 points in the final seconds. I believe if one loves someone, they know their love language without having to read a book. They listen and learn what makes the other happy. The man who knows taking out the trash makes his wife smile does not have to know that is an act of service. A loving man knows that watching a movie he does not care about makes his wife happy. He does not have to know that she considers it quality time. He does these things because he is not selfish and has taken the time to really know what makes his wife happy. He does this because he loves her and wants her to be happy, even though he would want to be doing a million other things.
I put parts of my life on hold because I really love Lucy. Lucy hated being alone, and I never could provide her a family. Because of that, I stayed at home to my detriment in order to keep her happy. All because I loved her more than any other being that has been part of my life. Lucy understood love. She was doing what any good spouse would do from the day I took her home. Trying to figure out what made me happy and doing her best to deliver. I did the same to her, and for her. And while neither of us was totally successful, the unbridled effort was pure joy.